You and I can be happy yet. Nothing better than the verse of the great Mexican singer / songwriter José Alfredo Jiménez to start my article on peer relationships ects. The behavior of couples is no different to the behavior of each of us.
me begin by saying that each of us we have some "facts", facts or situations that are there, we changed or even radically change our life, here a first obstacle to overcome. The recommendation of the experts is: you have to confront reality! However much we want to continue hiding, she grows larger as a wall to climb when we will no longer be possible. The degree of difficulty to solve the problem that we face reality, is directly proportional to the time that we delay in addressing this reality.
I will share with you some of these realities:
1. The first reality in the relationship is that we are different precisely in the diversity of our being is the richness and the importance of our relationship. In seeking to change our partner to make it our alter ego, deplete their source of inspiration and creativity, ie eliminate their ability to surprise. Nothing is more rewarding and constructive difference in thought, approach. When allowed to express those differences and encourage their arguments are outlets for crisis, solutions to our conflicts and reward for those moments of tension and stress, is the most beautiful of all that awaited: reconciliation!
Respect for difference saves us a lot of conflicts with the partner and allows us to progress in tolerance. A different thought, a different approach enriches the discussion and solution to the problem that is discussed is more clear. It has nothing to do with the fact think differently, not to agree with an idea or a statement: " It seems that I no longer want! For anything you disagree with me ". Do not worry, there is nothing personal, just have your partner approach and a different one. If you stop to analyze your partner's approach to best find this view very interesting and more united and happy end to the matter that was about to fight.
Therefore my suggestion is to break the paradigm of what we usually hear from some couples: "is that I want to be like me" , precisely in these differences is the immense potential of the couple. We encourage and privilege to think and operate differently from our partners and thus synergy appears to strengthen the work of the couple and were surprised to observe that the result is much greater than if we worked each one separately.
2. Another reality partners are handling the privacy of each, that little corner of our inner being we all want to protect and which often cause many troubles in our interaction. It is very difficult to expect our partner to apply fully undress your soul, we want to invade this small space, reserved only to our inner voice that approves or disapproves the thoughts, born of the events or situations experienced as independent beings. It is normal that people need time with our inner TRO to be alone with yourself and get the support of our individuality, which in turn allows us to recharge our spirit, full of reasons, progress on the path of personal growth and provide all that knowledge and experience to enrich the lives of couples.
Thus what at first seems a weakness, it becomes a great strength of each. It is also worth remembering that just as the differences, it is necessary to respect our privacy!.
3. A third reality in relationships is the handling of the communication. I've also heard: "is that we have such a rapport, that just look at us know what we want," the development of telepathic communication would be wonderful, if not an argument to hide the desire not to strive to express our what couples need to communicate.
The communication of couples there are no shortcuts! The road you have to cross it mpleto co. You must be sure (a) your partner understand what you wanted to express.
The frequent occurrence of the trouble that never fail and where the ability to handle pa ra becomes an excellent indicator of the maturity and experience achieved in the relationship. The common denominator in these cases is to cut the communication and the couple enters a bad break, every man for himself. They forget that the conflict increases proportionally to the time elapsing until cu'm someone decides to communicate.
The ability to develop is to learn to recognize that family life must go over the problem, anger or conflict, ie the communication can not be suspended. Other everyday life issues should be treated as if there was no conflict.
Do not get what happens to some couples who were upset, the next day Lord has a very important appointment at 7.00 am in his office and wants his wife to wake him, and he decides to write a note saying "Please wake me at 5.00 am Thanks" and leave it stuck in the refrigerator, knowing that his wife sees before bedtime. The next day the husband wakes up at 6.30 am and watches his wife sleeping quietly, of course, the anger of the Lord is evident and then looks at his bedside table and found a note that says, "are 5.00 in the morning, Please wake up. " Is it true that this communication can not function as a couple?
4. Another reality in the wonderful experience of the couple's relationship is how we acquire the ability to avoid arguments. Professor Dale Carnegie in his book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" says, "I concluded that there is only one way to get the better part of a discussion: avoid! escaped as avoid a rattlesnake or an earthquake. "
The relationship we can say that discussions are inherent to its essence, precisely because differences already mentioned. But if we try to minimize them can become commonplace and a pernicious element conspires with calm and understanding, which requires the favorable development of any relationship.
Now, if you're already in the midst of an inevitable discussion, the recommendation of Dr. Dale Carnegie is: "stare into the eyes of your partner and say, you know my love ... ... You are absolutely right! ". There ends all discussion to continue because it takes two. This method does not fail, it is proven for many years.
is that really no one wins an argument! If you believe to be right and you feel the winner (a), think of your partner, how do you feel? Has managed to make you feel inferior, you hurt his pride. Remember: "A person convinced against his will remains of the same opinion."
"The secret to avoid arguments is affectionate and respectful communication," as John Gray says in his best-selling book "Men Are From Mars, Women Are from Venus" because it is not what we say that hurts but the way it say. The differences and disagreements do wrong unless the form of communicating. Ideally a discussion need not hurt, on the contrary may be simply an excellent opportunity to put our differences and dissatisfactions.
is the appropriate occasion to communicate our disagreements and yet is an attractive time to test our progress on the path of personal growth, because it needs to broaden or restrict our view to integrate and enrich the point of view partner in the discussion. To achieve this limitation of thought needs to feel appreciated and respected. If your attitude is not affectionate, self-esteem of your partner can be injured by incorporating his argument, his approach or his point of view.
I know you agree with me that there are many more realities with which we face in the relationship, but as I stated at the beginning I shared just a few that seem crucial to improve and maintain the relationship oo to we can express with great confidence to our current partners: "my love ... .... You and I can be happy yet. "
In conclusion I express my full agreement with the experts when they argue that a successful, stable and exciting relationship requires great intelligence, subtlety, humility and significant progress in the degrees of awareness, qualities that characterize people who have understood that the efforts of human beings are justified, whether we are achieving happiness!, that is, if we begin to appreciate all that we, including our partners if we learn to love our work if we always expect the best life, if our mind whenever we introduce positive thoughts.
Remember, happiness is not a destination, to which someone can say, I'm home! And I am quite happy, happiness is a way that if a couple passes is more enjoyable. Sometimes we spend our busy lives .... Climbing the ladder of success and when we rise, we learned that the ladder was against the wrong wall.
therefore a way of recognizing that we still have much to learn in relationships is borne in mind also the following verses of Mexican author cited at the beginning: "Nothing the years have taught me, always fall in same mistakes. "
When two people are angry and argue, their hearts are far removed. To cover this distance, they must shout to be heard. The more angry they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance. What happens when two people fall in love? Well, do not yell, but talk softly, why? ... Their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small. When they love even more, what happens? Lovers do not talk, only whisper and are more in love.
Thought: Love is the only thing that grows when reparte.Saint-Exupery, Antoine
Mail: conductasexito@gmail.com
Blog: http://conductasexito.blogspot.com
me begin by saying that each of us we have some "facts", facts or situations that are there, we changed or even radically change our life, here a first obstacle to overcome. The recommendation of the experts is: you have to confront reality! However much we want to continue hiding, she grows larger as a wall to climb when we will no longer be possible. The degree of difficulty to solve the problem that we face reality, is directly proportional to the time that we delay in addressing this reality.
I will share with you some of these realities:
1. The first reality in the relationship is that we are different precisely in the diversity of our being is the richness and the importance of our relationship. In seeking to change our partner to make it our alter ego, deplete their source of inspiration and creativity, ie eliminate their ability to surprise. Nothing is more rewarding and constructive difference in thought, approach. When allowed to express those differences and encourage their arguments are outlets for crisis, solutions to our conflicts and reward for those moments of tension and stress, is the most beautiful of all that awaited: reconciliation!
Respect for difference saves us a lot of conflicts with the partner and allows us to progress in tolerance. A different thought, a different approach enriches the discussion and solution to the problem that is discussed is more clear. It has nothing to do with the fact think differently, not to agree with an idea or a statement: " It seems that I no longer want! For anything you disagree with me ". Do not worry, there is nothing personal, just have your partner approach and a different one. If you stop to analyze your partner's approach to best find this view very interesting and more united and happy end to the matter that was about to fight.
Therefore my suggestion is to break the paradigm of what we usually hear from some couples: "is that I want to be like me" , precisely in these differences is the immense potential of the couple. We encourage and privilege to think and operate differently from our partners and thus synergy appears to strengthen the work of the couple and were surprised to observe that the result is much greater than if we worked each one separately.
2. Another reality partners are handling the privacy of each, that little corner of our inner being we all want to protect and which often cause many troubles in our interaction. It is very difficult to expect our partner to apply fully undress your soul, we want to invade this small space, reserved only to our inner voice that approves or disapproves the thoughts, born of the events or situations experienced as independent beings. It is normal that people need time with our inner TRO to be alone with yourself and get the support of our individuality, which in turn allows us to recharge our spirit, full of reasons, progress on the path of personal growth and provide all that knowledge and experience to enrich the lives of couples.
Thus what at first seems a weakness, it becomes a great strength of each. It is also worth remembering that just as the differences, it is necessary to respect our privacy!.
3. A third reality in relationships is the handling of the communication. I've also heard: "is that we have such a rapport, that just look at us know what we want," the development of telepathic communication would be wonderful, if not an argument to hide the desire not to strive to express our what couples need to communicate.
The communication of couples there are no shortcuts! The road you have to cross it mpleto co. You must be sure (a) your partner understand what you wanted to express.
The frequent occurrence of the trouble that never fail and where the ability to handle pa ra becomes an excellent indicator of the maturity and experience achieved in the relationship. The common denominator in these cases is to cut the communication and the couple enters a bad break, every man for himself. They forget that the conflict increases proportionally to the time elapsing until cu'm someone decides to communicate.
The ability to develop is to learn to recognize that family life must go over the problem, anger or conflict, ie the communication can not be suspended. Other everyday life issues should be treated as if there was no conflict.
Do not get what happens to some couples who were upset, the next day Lord has a very important appointment at 7.00 am in his office and wants his wife to wake him, and he decides to write a note saying "Please wake me at 5.00 am Thanks" and leave it stuck in the refrigerator, knowing that his wife sees before bedtime. The next day the husband wakes up at 6.30 am and watches his wife sleeping quietly, of course, the anger of the Lord is evident and then looks at his bedside table and found a note that says, "are 5.00 in the morning, Please wake up. " Is it true that this communication can not function as a couple?
4. Another reality in the wonderful experience of the couple's relationship is how we acquire the ability to avoid arguments. Professor Dale Carnegie in his book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" says, "I concluded that there is only one way to get the better part of a discussion: avoid! escaped as avoid a rattlesnake or an earthquake. "
The relationship we can say that discussions are inherent to its essence, precisely because differences already mentioned. But if we try to minimize them can become commonplace and a pernicious element conspires with calm and understanding, which requires the favorable development of any relationship.
Now, if you're already in the midst of an inevitable discussion, the recommendation of Dr. Dale Carnegie is: "stare into the eyes of your partner and say, you know my love ... ... You are absolutely right! ". There ends all discussion to continue because it takes two. This method does not fail, it is proven for many years.
is that really no one wins an argument! If you believe to be right and you feel the winner (a), think of your partner, how do you feel? Has managed to make you feel inferior, you hurt his pride. Remember: "A person convinced against his will remains of the same opinion."
"The secret to avoid arguments is affectionate and respectful communication," as John Gray says in his best-selling book "Men Are From Mars, Women Are from Venus" because it is not what we say that hurts but the way it say. The differences and disagreements do wrong unless the form of communicating. Ideally a discussion need not hurt, on the contrary may be simply an excellent opportunity to put our differences and dissatisfactions.
is the appropriate occasion to communicate our disagreements and yet is an attractive time to test our progress on the path of personal growth, because it needs to broaden or restrict our view to integrate and enrich the point of view partner in the discussion. To achieve this limitation of thought needs to feel appreciated and respected. If your attitude is not affectionate, self-esteem of your partner can be injured by incorporating his argument, his approach or his point of view.
I know you agree with me that there are many more realities with which we face in the relationship, but as I stated at the beginning I shared just a few that seem crucial to improve and maintain the relationship oo to we can express with great confidence to our current partners: "my love ... .... You and I can be happy yet. "
In conclusion I express my full agreement with the experts when they argue that a successful, stable and exciting relationship requires great intelligence, subtlety, humility and significant progress in the degrees of awareness, qualities that characterize people who have understood that the efforts of human beings are justified, whether we are achieving happiness!, that is, if we begin to appreciate all that we, including our partners if we learn to love our work if we always expect the best life, if our mind whenever we introduce positive thoughts.
Remember, happiness is not a destination, to which someone can say, I'm home! And I am quite happy, happiness is a way that if a couple passes is more enjoyable. Sometimes we spend our busy lives .... Climbing the ladder of success and when we rise, we learned that the ladder was against the wrong wall.
therefore a way of recognizing that we still have much to learn in relationships is borne in mind also the following verses of Mexican author cited at the beginning: "Nothing the years have taught me, always fall in same mistakes. "
When two people are angry and argue, their hearts are far removed. To cover this distance, they must shout to be heard. The more angry they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance. What happens when two people fall in love? Well, do not yell, but talk softly, why? ... Their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small. When they love even more, what happens? Lovers do not talk, only whisper and are more in love.
Thought: Love is the only thing that grows when reparte.Saint-Exupery, Antoine
Mail: conductasexito@gmail.com
Blog: http://conductasexito.blogspot.com
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